A cabinet that held heaps of my books right since my college days was now piling up in a slapdash with my favorite novels and magazines. Each time I picked up one of the unread novels from the stack, I promised myself to clean up the mess once I finish reading it. This one time never arrived until my mother chided me when I walked with a set of few more new novels.
“Deepti, keep these books outside as they won’t get into my home until you clear that cabinet. Give away the books that you have read and criticized. Anymore additions to that shelf and it shall burst out in tears like you when you can’t handle your overflowing emotions”, she continued to chide me.
“Mom it is just three books and I will squeeze them inside and next weekend I promise I will sort the mess mom, please” pleaded the innocent side in me. All my pleading was in vain as she ensured that this time there was no next time.
I cleared the entire shelf and randomly a few books would seek my attention, forcing me to open them, smell them and feel them. I felt nostalgic when a few books I opened held my old photographs; some had the doodles that I drew while I was transported into a fantasy world reading them. I felt overwhelmed as I recollected and even missed a few of the characters trapped in the books those came alive in my heart and mind. At leisure I completed the daunting task at hand, sorting all the books and trying even harder to accommodate all of those in their own home. I had no other choice, but to heed my mother’s advice this time. Fortunately I have a cousin who has a similar taste of books as me and also a friend who periodically conducts garage sale for a few of the charity partners in the society. I was sad and disheartened to part my ways with those books but I knew I had no choice this time.
‘Mom, come have a look at my shelf now, it is so clean and looks beautiful now’
“It looks spacious too, my child” she said as she handed over to me my three new books.
As I was spending that evening, just relaxing, doing nothing, I realized that such was life. I had to “assign” myself this task of clearing the mess I had created in my life too. Each time I had a quarrel with my friends or disagreements with my colleagues I had a tendency of putting the issues under the carpet. The frustration would fill up to the brim until one fine day the explosion would happen. The only buyer for my explosions is my mother because only she realizes that it is the frustration talking and not my heart, only she knows that her daughter has this ill habit of ignoring things. She understands that my inability to be assertive and my credulous nature are reasons for all the relationship issues that confront me.
That evening I made a list of issues that I had to address and the list of friends/relatives/colleagues that I needed to have a coffee with. I knew some of these relations I would feel nostalgic with the memories of the good times; I would feel those happy and joyful moments again. I also knew that a few of the relations I would have to bid a forever good-bye saying them a thank you for all their kindness in my journey of life. The hurt of parting away was inevitable but for the new fresh things to enter my life I had to rearrange things.
We are all like the pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, we try to connect with each other, no piece in the entire puzzle is wrong. Each piece has its place and fits only when the neighboring pieces are accommodating. Similarly no one person is wrong, but to live this life we would need those around us who would accommodate us for who we are, who we can accommodate the way they are. We all need that one family and a circle of friends around us, who would accept us for what we are, without the masks of diplomacy, without the fear of being judged, without the fear of being corrected at every single step.
People change and with change here I mean evolve, the amount of time I spent with my friends while I was in college or working as an intern, I can’t spend now while I work full-time. Priorities change as our goals change. Roles change as our designations change. A father cannot be a father all the time to his child; he has to be a friend, a mentor, a partner in crime and sometimes just an observer. The real test of relations would be when this evolution will occur within us, when our priorities will shift. The ones who would understand that, despite all the outer changes and changes in the circumstance, the love, emotions and the essence of the relations still is the same, would stay with us the longest.
Paulo Coelho writes, “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” The relations which allow us to be just the way we are, accepts us with all the imperfections, the ones those who understand our shift in priorities and evolution are the ones along with whom we can remain connected all our lives. Rest we taste, we sip and without offending anyone keep our glass down.
I pledge to rearrange and sort the cabinet of my life too, to make it spacious and beautiful, to keep treading on the journey of life and to create a stunning jigsaw puzzle. Let’s connect the right pieces to each other. I will live and let others around me live as they are; without burdening them with my expectations and accepting them with their real without the masks selves.
At the end of the day, we need to empty our jugs of emotions at regular intervals, clean them and fill them again just like we do to our cabinets.
Soul of the Blessed Child 